How about we Just totally ignore the fact that I haven't blogged for the last couple of months...preciate it."
What have I been up to?
I know what some people are thinking, and No I haven't been busy being attracted to 16 year old Australians. (Friendly reminder: 16 will get you 25...unless you're a grammy award winner)
Jessica Watson is attempting to become the youngest person to sail around the world unassisted. Do you know what that means son? That means for 8 months, she's gonna be rocking, reeling, and crapping all on this tiny sail boat.
Being 16 is quite young and part of me thinks her parents are retarded for allowing this, however, she has already logged over 10 thousands hours as a yacht master and has been sailing since a lad (don't they call kids lads in Australia). Another part of me thinks her parents are dope. They have equipped her daughter with more than enough of the necessities (tracking systems, food, satellite communications devices) - isn't that really what parents are here for?
I think the Jessica Watson story is one of Faith and fearlessness. She not only believes in herself, but she loves sailing so much, she's willing to risk her life and her comfort for eight continuous months. That's remarkable, I guarantee you, this will be the hardest thing she'll ever have to do in her life...but after this period of storms, loneliness, restlessness , she'll be set for life!
We can learn a lot from wee ones. Young people are relentless and fearless.
So I'm taking a page out of the old Jessica Watson handbook, I'm relocating to DC and devoting myself to comedy...hitin' open mic's, barbecues, bar mitzvah's and all. Hopefully this will give me some great experience...and in 10 years maybe I can be somebody!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
My First Set.
Okay so people have been asking me about how was my first time......
I gotta tell ya' it feels good to have actually accomplihed something.
My first set was cool, I was nervous as all out doors though. I can't explain how good it felt. When I was begining to tell a joke I noticed people really feeling where I was coming from.
I want to deal with alot of logic with my comedy....so my desire is to see peoples faces go....ahh! I hate bafoonery. I will not do just anything to get a laugh....not hating on anybody that does though.
I just refuse to get onstage run around being goofy, excessively curse, and tell sex jokes all night.
Neither am I gonna talk about in laws (I don't have a wife anyway so that should be easy....) yogurt (unless it has something to do with throwing it on people), so forth and so on.
Well people, this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship....jus't don't date my ex girlfriend and everythings smooth.
I gotta tell ya' it feels good to have actually accomplihed something.
My first set was cool, I was nervous as all out doors though. I can't explain how good it felt. When I was begining to tell a joke I noticed people really feeling where I was coming from.
I want to deal with alot of logic with my comedy....so my desire is to see peoples faces go....ahh! I hate bafoonery. I will not do just anything to get a laugh....not hating on anybody that does though.
I just refuse to get onstage run around being goofy, excessively curse, and tell sex jokes all night.
Neither am I gonna talk about in laws (I don't have a wife anyway so that should be easy....) yogurt (unless it has something to do with throwing it on people), so forth and so on.
Well people, this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship....jus't don't date my ex girlfriend and everythings smooth.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
"Skinny Jeans"
"Skinny Jeans"
This is my first blog...I’m sure ya'll don't mind if I do a little complaining right? Nahhh, ya'll don't mind.
I love fashion. I try to have a healthy contemporary fashion sense while attempting to perceive whether or not something will in the future fade into utter embarrassment when one looks back at an old photo (I know you hate that you wore cross colors right? I mean we weren’t the least bit concerned about color coordinating in the early nineties!) I think I’ve mastered that technique – take the good – leave the rest. But there are some trends now that I believe aren’t healthy for society by and large.
Okay. By now I'm certain that you guys have seen dudes about town wearing the testicle promenading "skinny jeans".
I'm not talking about the Billy Ray Cyrus "achy-breaky-heart" jeans (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EebObs-vC0) Oh no my brother...I'm talking about some far more testicle constricting.
I'm talking about your girlfriend Tawanda's "I-have-to-roll-on-the-floor-and-suck-in-my-gut-at-the-same-time" club jeans.
Wearing skinny Jeans - like voting - is something that cool gay guys have been doing for years but because of some bold black dude it has gotten extremely popular and has been declared cool.
When I first saw gay dudes wearing these jeans... okay, it initially caught me off guard, but then you realize this is infact gay apparel, and you move on amicably.
You see the thing is, I’m totally fine with gay dudes wearing skinny jeans. The problems is that these “Skinny Jeans” have become so popular that now heterosexual men are wearing them . Straight dudes? Can you believe it? Beer Drinking, Misogynistic, Slapping their women on the butt in public kind of straight dudes. The Gay line is blending right before our eyes ladies and gentlemen. Are we prepared for that? I think that's entirely too much change for one calendar year.
What this means is that now straight dudes are looking like gay dudes. I don’t like this because this makes it increasingly difficult to detect the "Homosexual intensive" areas in any given public area.
I'm sorry, but I like my society overly simplified. You know - Red state - Blue state. CNN – Fox News. Martin Luther King - Malcolm X.
The only thing I hate is that we (even more than we used to) have to figure out who’s really gay now. We already have the complication of Religion, Starbucks and Seth Rogen (is he funny
or isn’t he funny…no one knows. I always feel like there's a punch line coming, but it never comes.)
Maybe I'm paranoid, but I need to know where the gay dudes are at, at all times...not for discrimination purposes, I promise I'm not judgmental. I even have a gay friend (well maybe I do, maybe I don’t. No one ever fact checks the "I even have a ______ friend" Statement" anyway...So it doesn't matter, But I digress).
The only reason this is an issue for me is because I like to identify the areas in the crowd where my booty might be in jeopardy. I mean, I don’t think I’m concerned about a gay rape or anything like that. I guess I've just always been uncomfortable with people staring intently at my booty.
Straight men might not say it in public, and they might not be as elaborate as me...but I promise they all have a personal conversation with themselves about this.
This is mine:
- "Wow, this Obama Rally has like 20, 000 people! Great turnout!"
- "Oh look they’re selling Barack Obama wristbands over on the other side of the park. I have to get one. That will definitely be a collectors item (.....No it won’t.)
-"let me hurry and get one before Barack begins to speak...wait a minute, wait a minute; man I almost walked over 100 yards and didn't check my "gay radius".... you know better than that Lawrence.”
- “okay let me see....there's a gay dude over there....gay dude right there...There's Tevin Campbell over there...Jaleel White over there; So basically; I gotta watch my booty over here, over there...definitely over there."
I don't know...but maybe it's just me?
P.S.
Micheal J. Fox was the only heterosexual dude to wear skinny Jeans while simultaneously being cool. I repeat – THE ONLY heterosexual dude!
This is my first blog...I’m sure ya'll don't mind if I do a little complaining right? Nahhh, ya'll don't mind.
I love fashion. I try to have a healthy contemporary fashion sense while attempting to perceive whether or not something will in the future fade into utter embarrassment when one looks back at an old photo (I know you hate that you wore cross colors right? I mean we weren’t the least bit concerned about color coordinating in the early nineties!) I think I’ve mastered that technique – take the good – leave the rest. But there are some trends now that I believe aren’t healthy for society by and large.
Okay. By now I'm certain that you guys have seen dudes about town wearing the testicle promenading "skinny jeans".
I'm not talking about the Billy Ray Cyrus "achy-breaky-heart" jeans (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EebObs-vC0) Oh no my brother...I'm talking about some far more testicle constricting.
I'm talking about your girlfriend Tawanda's "I-have-to-roll-on-the-floor-and-suck-in-my-gut-at-the-same-time" club jeans.
Wearing skinny Jeans - like voting - is something that cool gay guys have been doing for years but because of some bold black dude it has gotten extremely popular and has been declared cool.
When I first saw gay dudes wearing these jeans... okay, it initially caught me off guard, but then you realize this is infact gay apparel, and you move on amicably.
You see the thing is, I’m totally fine with gay dudes wearing skinny jeans. The problems is that these “Skinny Jeans” have become so popular that now heterosexual men are wearing them . Straight dudes? Can you believe it? Beer Drinking, Misogynistic, Slapping their women on the butt in public kind of straight dudes. The Gay line is blending right before our eyes ladies and gentlemen. Are we prepared for that? I think that's entirely too much change for one calendar year.
What this means is that now straight dudes are looking like gay dudes. I don’t like this because this makes it increasingly difficult to detect the "Homosexual intensive" areas in any given public area.
I'm sorry, but I like my society overly simplified. You know - Red state - Blue state. CNN – Fox News. Martin Luther King - Malcolm X.
The only thing I hate is that we (even more than we used to) have to figure out who’s really gay now. We already have the complication of Religion, Starbucks and Seth Rogen (is he funny
or isn’t he funny…no one knows. I always feel like there's a punch line coming, but it never comes.)
Maybe I'm paranoid, but I need to know where the gay dudes are at, at all times...not for discrimination purposes, I promise I'm not judgmental. I even have a gay friend (well maybe I do, maybe I don’t. No one ever fact checks the "I even have a ______ friend" Statement" anyway...So it doesn't matter, But I digress).
The only reason this is an issue for me is because I like to identify the areas in the crowd where my booty might be in jeopardy. I mean, I don’t think I’m concerned about a gay rape or anything like that. I guess I've just always been uncomfortable with people staring intently at my booty.
Straight men might not say it in public, and they might not be as elaborate as me...but I promise they all have a personal conversation with themselves about this.
This is mine:
- "Wow, this Obama Rally has like 20, 000 people! Great turnout!"
- "Oh look they’re selling Barack Obama wristbands over on the other side of the park. I have to get one. That will definitely be a collectors item (.....No it won’t.)
-"let me hurry and get one before Barack begins to speak...wait a minute, wait a minute; man I almost walked over 100 yards and didn't check my "gay radius".... you know better than that Lawrence.”
- “okay let me see....there's a gay dude over there....gay dude right there...There's Tevin Campbell over there...Jaleel White over there; So basically; I gotta watch my booty over here, over there...definitely over there."
I don't know...but maybe it's just me?
P.S.
Micheal J. Fox was the only heterosexual dude to wear skinny Jeans while simultaneously being cool. I repeat – THE ONLY heterosexual dude!
Blogging...and crap.
What's up ev'ry ones ev'ry ones.
This is Lawrence "LJ" Jarrett AKA.....AKA (why can't AKA be my AKA?) Welcome to my weird world of Observation....and crap.
I said to myself "Self, I should start a blog. Other people will be able to relate to my so called "cynicism" and "paranoia" and "balding". Wouldn't you like to know what's going on in my head - don't answer that.
Stay tuned for some video blogs, upcoming shows, funny things I've found along the way and other well....crap.
This is interactive so you are graded for participation - feel free to leave comments or drop me a note. Let me know what you've found funny, but also on the flip side of that coin, definitely feel free to let me know what you've found that was really funny. That's right I only want to know the good and the good (.....don't make me insecure with the negative, I'm already dark skinned...I had a hard life, you need to build me up!)
Hit me up:
comedybylj@gmail.com
Enjoy...and crap.
This is Lawrence "LJ" Jarrett AKA.....AKA (why can't AKA be my AKA?) Welcome to my weird world of Observation....and crap.
I said to myself "Self, I should start a blog. Other people will be able to relate to my so called "cynicism" and "paranoia" and "balding". Wouldn't you like to know what's going on in my head - don't answer that.
Stay tuned for some video blogs, upcoming shows, funny things I've found along the way and other well....crap.
This is interactive so you are graded for participation - feel free to leave comments or drop me a note. Let me know what you've found funny, but also on the flip side of that coin, definitely feel free to let me know what you've found that was really funny. That's right I only want to know the good and the good (.....don't make me insecure with the negative, I'm already dark skinned...I had a hard life, you need to build me up!)
Hit me up:
comedybylj@gmail.com
Enjoy...and crap.
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